Breaking the News

A few days after my yoga epiphany, I had yet to begin the adventure.  However, I had such effervescence bottled up inside that I just had to tell someone about my brilliant idea.  The lucky victim was, of course, my mother.  Known for trenchant remarks, she might not have been the perfect candidate, but she was the only one in the house who wasn't too busy Xbox Live-ing to listen to me or wasn't a different species of mammal entirely.  So when I walked into the kitchen and she happened to be sitting there on her laptop, I seized the opportunity:

"Mom!  Guess what!"

"You're hungry."

I shuffled awkwardly.  "Well, yeah, but... I'm taking up yoga!"

"Isn't that a Star Wars character?"

"No, Mom, yoga, not Yoda.  With a 'g'."

"Oh.  You're stupid."

"I know, Mom, I know."

And with that, I retrieved a cupcake from the refrigerator.

New Year's Resolution?

 Ever since I distinguished the difference in spelling between yoga and that little Star Wars character (which wasn't all that long ago), I've been fascinated by yoga's concept.  We've all seen those health commercials.  You know, the ones that portray young, beautiful, athletic women in yoga class.  They make taking one leg, wrapping it around your neck twice, and then breathing deeply in through your mouth and out through your nose look so easy.  Although envious, I never considered taking up yoga.  Not only was I lazy, I was cursed with severe uncoordination and a laughable lack of flexibility.  Besides, yoga was only for those stuck-up people in Hollywood.  Despite all my beliefs, something about the hobby intrigued me.  It was probably the neck thing. 

At any rate, New Year's Day 2011 rolls around.  Flipping absent-mindedly through the latest issue of a magazine, I pondered the coming year as it pertained to my future.  Having made a new year's resolution to give up new year's resolutions, I wasn't feeling particularly inspired.  As my mind began to wander from this subject to the cupcakes in the refrigerator, I reached the Health section in my magazine.  Ordinarily I would bypass this section, as exercising was never really my slice of pie (or cupcake).  However, something about the whole new year thing made me pause.  I read the first heading in the section, which shouted, "Uncover Your Abs!"  I looked down and poked my stomach.  Just reading the section wouldn't hurt... I turned to the next page, and what did I find?  A yoga routine.  I grimaced instantly, thinking about my lack of natural grace.  Or any grace at all.  "Sorry, flabs," I apologized to my stomach. "Maybe next year."  As I was about to flip to the back of the magazine to read the embarassing moments section (my favorite!), I paused again.  Maybe it was worth a shot.  And what better time to start than the new year?  This was the perfect opportunity to become just like those beautiful leg-around-the-neck women! 

So it was settled.  I would take up yoga, despite all my downfalls.  Excitedly I reopened the magazine to the yoga workout.  With a smile on my face, I skimmed the exercises.  Although eager to begin, I decided I would do a bit of stretching before I did any leg-around-the-neck workouts (safety first, you know).  I bent down to touch my toes, but stopped short as I reached my knees.  I took another deep breath and leaned down a little farther. In response, my back popped six times.  I stood up.

"I'll start tomorrow."



This is me. Heh.